I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
