But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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