Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
