With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize