do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
