Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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