2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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