...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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