Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
