shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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