No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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