And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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