are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
