Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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