He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
pray to the hookup gods
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
