Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Randomize
