better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
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