I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
