part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I just gargled with NyQuil
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
