Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Randomize
