Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
