tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
My feet surprised me
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