hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
