Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
