Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?

(303): View more from Colorado

Knowing your life, probably not.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.

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(240): View more from Maryland

It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.

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(631): View more from New York

Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...

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(908): View more from New Jersey

It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!

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(318): View more from Louisiana

We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.

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(713): View more from Texas

Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.

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