I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
This is my gift to your gina
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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