Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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