Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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