Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
