why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
