Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
