I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
