no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
