:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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