They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
