Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
