I wish I only lived at night.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
