i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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