My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
