Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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