you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
