i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
