i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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