Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
