That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
