Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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