I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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