brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
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