So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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