Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
