Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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